Ending a Relationship Breaking Up
is Hard To Do

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If your to-do list is something like this:

• Mow the lawn
• Water the garden
• End the relationship

It is a good thing you found this article because you are thinking too hard about it! Okay, so this is not marked on most people’s calendar; the fact is, when a relationship has gone south, someone has to suck it up and make the move to end it. Many relationships last long beyond the “expire by” date simply because breaking up is hard to do. Check out these 9 tips to helping you through this most difficult decision.

Ending a Relationship Tips:

1 - There are the extremes.  A break up can happen in dramatic fashion, clothes being thrown out of a second story window.  Other times, the relationship just dies a slow death until someone says “stick a fork in it; it’s done.”  Regardless, either extreme affects how the breakup is handled.

2 – Don’t leave with hurt feelings.  So, let’s settle it here and now; no matter how you feel about your partner, you need to go about ending a relationship so that neither of you get hurt.  It is important you be clear on why you want to terminate the romance.  Exercise caution as well; the first reason that comes to mind may not be the real reason.  But, once you are clear as to the why, the next step is to be honest.  By this I mean that, in your discussion with your partner, you are honest and up front with them.

3 – Do it in person.  It is important that you schedule an agreed upon time for the relationship to be officially over.  If at all possible, it is better to do it in person rather than over the phone; but if distance is an issue, you still need to do it sooner rather than wait for a time you can get together.

4 – Show compassion.  Make a concerted effort to show compassion when ending the relationship.  There are those who stay friends after the break up, and for that to happen, you need to end your romance without closing the door.  It is also important to point out that you both made mutual friends while together.  As a result, you will find times after the breakup where you will come across each other when out with your friends.

5 – Remember the good times.  Don’t put your partner on the defensive.  Talk about the things you’ve learned and the memories you will cherish that have come from your time spent together.  If you do get together during the break up, realize either you or your partner may become very emotional.  You need to respond to their needs by showing sympathy without anger or indifference.

6 – Guard your heart.  Don’t take anything personally when ending a relationship.  You or your partner may say things you don’t really mean.  Feelings are still there, even if it is to cover the hurt or hurt back in order to “share the pain”.  Resist the thought to “don’t get mad, get even”.  Let these words roll off your back.

7 – Final may take awhile.  Your partner may need to meet with you more than once to completely end the relationship.  Or, they may need space.  Give your ex what they need to get through the transition time.  You have to consider that you both might have shared the same residence and there may be the issue of deciding who gets what.

8 – Guilt is a very real weapon.  Make sure neither of you leaves the other one feeling guilty.  Since you have agreed it best to move on and to begin a new phase in your life, don’t complicate things by playing the guilt card.

9 - Should you ever consider reconnecting?  Does ending a relationship always have to mean “the end, close the book?”  It is not unthinkable that you could end up back together.  In fact, there are times when, after the breakup and some passage of time, you may realize the good in your relationship far outweighed the bad.  This is another reason to end the relationship on good terms.

If, after reading through the 9 tips above, you conclude that ending a relationship reveals that breaking up is hard to do, you should now be better positioned to make that decision.  If you want more information to further help you in your relationship decisions, check out www.stopdivorcesavemarriage.net.  Not only will the information available help you through this time in your life, but it just may help you save your relationship.  Either way, it is a fact that breaking up is hard to do.  Hopefully you now have a better idea as to why this is.